weekend waiting

after all this work travel I am eagerly awaiting a nice relaxing weekend wearing this

shoes: Converse, Tee: Shop Bop, Denim: JCrew, Necklace: Ruche

3 years...

 

Time passes so slowly but yet so quickly. I can't even stomach that today it's been 3 years since I last saw Greg, since I last kissed him, held his hand, or looked into his eyes. It's been 3 years and I feel for the most part it's been a blur. But in a way I feel like it's slowly starting to clear. My life was shattered in an instant and for a while I felt no need to try and pick up the peices. I felt numb and didn't want to live a life that didn't have Greg in it. While today, I still don't want to live a life without Greg, my eyes are starting to open to the fact that I have to.

There is a quote that I see often "you never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have". To me this sums up how i've gotten here now 3 years later. I had no choice, life doesn't give you a choice. The world conintinues to turn and isn't stopping.

While everything inside of me feels the peircing pain of a hole in my heart, I know that the only choice I have is to get up each morning and make an attempt to live. To make an attempt to get myself to a place where I find a new kind of hapiness, a place where I can be okay with letting myself be happy. An acceptance that I will never get back to who I was with Greg, but I will find me a new me.

The sadness will never go away and there are days my containment of it isn't possible. When times like these come along it's hard not to focus on the fact of what my life has become from what it was. It's hard to forget the distant memory of feeling so complete and so in love.

I miss him more than I can even say, and I would give anything to have one more moment with him. I would give anything to be able to look him in the eyes and tell him I love him one more time.

All I have now is to close my eyes and I can see him him so vividly and feel as if I can almost touch him. I feel his presence with me often and love getting the little messages I beleive he is sending me and all those he loved. I find comfort in knowing I will see him again on the other side, as I feel with every beat of my heart that he is my soul mate and my eternity.

So tomorrow another day will come and go, and I will get out of bed and keep on going while I carry his heart with me always.

Greg- always and forever <3

next project

looking for some new projects and thinking this should be the next one. First I need to find a version of this dresser.